I’m 44, and lately, nostalgic as hell. Everything here is oh so accurate. No children here but my friends are brimming with them so now I’m watching their teenagers begin that wild youth that feels like yesterday but also lifetimes ago. I just commented to a friend how this mid40 time finally feels like I’m a different person than I was back then. And I don’t mean a “changed” person. I mean, who the hell was that and where is she now? You describe how “those weren’t characters in a movie” and yet, this year it truly does feel like she was a character or some murky dream. Which makes the nostalgia hurt tenfold. I miss her like the cool daughter who goes off to college and stops calling. Anyway, at least I’m not alone on this cruise ship to old people island: a place I keep reminding myself that I’m very lucky to get invited to so I don’t curse myself into an iceberg.
Here's to other people probably meaning more to me than I do to them. The memories are of another lifetime, but I laugh more now, because I can say 'I love you' to the ones who deserve it.
I was a lonely 27 year old man then, and now I'm a lonely 57 year old man now. I wish I could have changed over the years, or the years could have changed me. But I couldn't, and they didn't. Thanks for your writing. I wish you the best.
I just turned 38, and I really understand what you’re talking about. Time is surreal. Glad we all feel these feelings. Especially apt is your intuition that our love of youth is not just ageism. There is something much deeper going on, isn’t there? Thank you 🙏
This is beautiful. I'm so glad you went to the show (where you were glowing!) I was not the most exciting twenty-something, but I went to a lot of concerts and I MISS IT. (P.S. check out the song "Younger Us" by Japandroids! captures this feeling)
I'm fighting the temptation to remind you of your accomplishments, of which there are many, but that doesn't mean they weren't hard-fought before they were won because I also feel you're onto something about aging and the slipping away of possibility.
I also wonder if some of the shadow stuff that lurks beneath ageism is the chilling recognition that "THIS is coming for me, too." For good or ill, it's how we rage against the dying of the light.
Anyway, thank you for serving up eloquent and poignant food-for-thought.
I’m 44, and lately, nostalgic as hell. Everything here is oh so accurate. No children here but my friends are brimming with them so now I’m watching their teenagers begin that wild youth that feels like yesterday but also lifetimes ago. I just commented to a friend how this mid40 time finally feels like I’m a different person than I was back then. And I don’t mean a “changed” person. I mean, who the hell was that and where is she now? You describe how “those weren’t characters in a movie” and yet, this year it truly does feel like she was a character or some murky dream. Which makes the nostalgia hurt tenfold. I miss her like the cool daughter who goes off to college and stops calling. Anyway, at least I’m not alone on this cruise ship to old people island: a place I keep reminding myself that I’m very lucky to get invited to so I don’t curse myself into an iceberg.
“I miss her like the cool daughter who goes off the college and stops calling” 😭 NAILED IT
Here's to other people probably meaning more to me than I do to them. The memories are of another lifetime, but I laugh more now, because I can say 'I love you' to the ones who deserve it.
I feel you.
I was a lonely 27 year old man then, and now I'm a lonely 57 year old man now. I wish I could have changed over the years, or the years could have changed me. But I couldn't, and they didn't. Thanks for your writing. I wish you the best.
This was poignant. Are you an older me? I am 27 and I cannot seem to change.
I just turned 38, and I really understand what you’re talking about. Time is surreal. Glad we all feel these feelings. Especially apt is your intuition that our love of youth is not just ageism. There is something much deeper going on, isn’t there? Thank you 🙏
This is beautiful. I'm so glad you went to the show (where you were glowing!) I was not the most exciting twenty-something, but I went to a lot of concerts and I MISS IT. (P.S. check out the song "Younger Us" by Japandroids! captures this feeling)
When Menopause starts smashing you, reach out to me. Ive got the medicine.
( I was once a rock star... now I run a natural health clinic.. most clients 46- 55 year old women... )
We have to stick together. HAHA.
Loved your story.
I'm fighting the temptation to remind you of your accomplishments, of which there are many, but that doesn't mean they weren't hard-fought before they were won because I also feel you're onto something about aging and the slipping away of possibility.
I also wonder if some of the shadow stuff that lurks beneath ageism is the chilling recognition that "THIS is coming for me, too." For good or ill, it's how we rage against the dying of the light.
Anyway, thank you for serving up eloquent and poignant food-for-thought.
God, the way I felt this so deeply in my soul...