These commentators that say hateful things don't do it because "you are a slut." It's because you tell the truth. The messy, beautiful, complex, truth. There is nothing more triggering than that.
To Ken's comment, many men want a saint in polite company, and a slut in the bedroom, you already know that. I say many, I hope not most.
Teenage sexual experimentation. That's normal, and usually messy on both sides. Don't beat yourself up. We've all done it.
Your parents. It's not my blog so I won't bother you with mine, but, trust me, yours isn't as unique as you may think.
Haters. All the haters on your blog are masturbaters. Most haters hate themselves.
Yes, young men are predators. Good men grow out of that. In tribal times that was a strength that protected the tribe at a cost to some individuals. Now, not so much, they will get theirs, maybe in hell.
I've said this before, you are rightfully proud of your education and scholarly accomplishments. That's because you recognize the hierarchy of positive and negative, good an bad, growth and destruction.
Anyone's issues with your sexuality are their own issues with the creator's, or, the creative life force. Life, consciousness, will, volition, conscience, our greatest gifts that allow us to choose the direction of our awareness and choices. These are not flowery new age talking points. They are the reality of the situation we find ourselves in. A great mystery that doesn't provide clear answers, but, mostly ask us questions, and ask us to define ourselves.
Full disclosure. I am not a shrink. I respond to your post because I am captivated by your openness, honesty, rawness, eloquence, beauty, the convergence of youth and age (you are still young) you blend in your writing, and the questions you stir of my youth and maleness, my regrets, my mortality.
Two wisdom tales you've probably heard.
A healer visited a leper colony where he observed the inhabitants constantly scratching at their sores till they bleed and became infected causing them even more pain. He asked why do you keep scratching even though it causes you even more harm? They replied, because it feels so good.
A monk visited a person eating red hot peppers one after another. His face grimacing with pain. The monk said, these peppers are burning you with pain, why do you keep eating them? The man answered, I keep hoping for a sweet one.
Beautiful essay ♥️ Thank you for opening my heart up. I’m a 30 year old virgin and always furious at promiscuous women and God always tells me that I have no idea what sort of pain they are in. The fact is, my father is still alive and he’s a wonderful dad and I know more and more each day that his presence and steadiness and love is the reason I have been so protected and not abused by men—only really ever respected by men. And my dad was more or less fatherless himself and just wanted nothing more than to make sure none of his kids experienced what he did. (And what he didn’t.) Fathers are so important. And that includes God as Heavenly Father. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ♥️ You’re not a slut. You’re a person. And I’m sorry you lost your dad. It really wrenched my heart to know how sad that makes you even all these years later. I hope you get to see him again in heaven one day.
This is a very self-aware and kind comment that breeds connection instead of contempt. Thank you for being a light in the world. I hope I see him in Heaven as well.
Young women in this society are not allowed to own agency over their sexuality, regardless of parental status. The "fatherless" archetype/stereotype exists to further enshrine the patriarchy as the sole arbiters of moral judgement, and its all bullshit. Kudos to you for not just surviving, but thriving in the face of the haters who can't face up to their own shortcomings.
i was reading this on a walk and ended up crying my eyes out. i lost a dear, dear friend to cancer five months ago and still sitting with the grief. then those tears became hot cuz these comments are enraging
i'm really glad i came across your work and i look forward to reading more! 💓
I dont hate my mother and sure, its the fatherlessness aspect of this that seems to drive the woman through the slut road. Glad this one made it out, I truly am. And sure blame on the men who left if you want. Its still fatherless behavior.
I love reading your work. I am endlessly impressed by all your talents. I am a fellow Fatherless Woman. He’s still alive, I think. The shadow his absence cast over my life was more like a black hole. I spent years convincing myself that I was so much better off without. As he was, I was probably right. The few memories I have with him are not happy ones.
I really appreciate you reading. I just wrote this, moments ago. It’s gratifying to have you engage with it and read the words just now expressed by my heart. Thank you.
These commentators that say hateful things don't do it because "you are a slut." It's because you tell the truth. The messy, beautiful, complex, truth. There is nothing more triggering than that.
I really appreciate you. Thank you.
Both of these essays are wonderfully written and right from the heart.
I will never understand what drives people to stick their fingers into other's wounds and twist.
To Ken's comment, many men want a saint in polite company, and a slut in the bedroom, you already know that. I say many, I hope not most.
Teenage sexual experimentation. That's normal, and usually messy on both sides. Don't beat yourself up. We've all done it.
Your parents. It's not my blog so I won't bother you with mine, but, trust me, yours isn't as unique as you may think.
Haters. All the haters on your blog are masturbaters. Most haters hate themselves.
Yes, young men are predators. Good men grow out of that. In tribal times that was a strength that protected the tribe at a cost to some individuals. Now, not so much, they will get theirs, maybe in hell.
I've said this before, you are rightfully proud of your education and scholarly accomplishments. That's because you recognize the hierarchy of positive and negative, good an bad, growth and destruction.
Anyone's issues with your sexuality are their own issues with the creator's, or, the creative life force. Life, consciousness, will, volition, conscience, our greatest gifts that allow us to choose the direction of our awareness and choices. These are not flowery new age talking points. They are the reality of the situation we find ourselves in. A great mystery that doesn't provide clear answers, but, mostly ask us questions, and ask us to define ourselves.
Full disclosure. I am not a shrink. I respond to your post because I am captivated by your openness, honesty, rawness, eloquence, beauty, the convergence of youth and age (you are still young) you blend in your writing, and the questions you stir of my youth and maleness, my regrets, my mortality.
Two wisdom tales you've probably heard.
A healer visited a leper colony where he observed the inhabitants constantly scratching at their sores till they bleed and became infected causing them even more pain. He asked why do you keep scratching even though it causes you even more harm? They replied, because it feels so good.
A monk visited a person eating red hot peppers one after another. His face grimacing with pain. The monk said, these peppers are burning you with pain, why do you keep eating them? The man answered, I keep hoping for a sweet one.
Be careful where you dwell.
Thank you for your sharing.
Den
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and eloquent take on my story!
Nearly cried reading this. You're amazing and I'm proud to be one of your students.
you're an amazing writer
Thank you, Bill.
Beautiful essay ♥️ Thank you for opening my heart up. I’m a 30 year old virgin and always furious at promiscuous women and God always tells me that I have no idea what sort of pain they are in. The fact is, my father is still alive and he’s a wonderful dad and I know more and more each day that his presence and steadiness and love is the reason I have been so protected and not abused by men—only really ever respected by men. And my dad was more or less fatherless himself and just wanted nothing more than to make sure none of his kids experienced what he did. (And what he didn’t.) Fathers are so important. And that includes God as Heavenly Father. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ♥️ You’re not a slut. You’re a person. And I’m sorry you lost your dad. It really wrenched my heart to know how sad that makes you even all these years later. I hope you get to see him again in heaven one day.
This is a very self-aware and kind comment that breeds connection instead of contempt. Thank you for being a light in the world. I hope I see him in Heaven as well.
♥️😇 And thank you, also, for being a light!
Young women in this society are not allowed to own agency over their sexuality, regardless of parental status. The "fatherless" archetype/stereotype exists to further enshrine the patriarchy as the sole arbiters of moral judgement, and its all bullshit. Kudos to you for not just surviving, but thriving in the face of the haters who can't face up to their own shortcomings.
Great insight on the reason for the existence of this archetype!
I am, as a Daddy, truly sorry for your loss and the cruelty of others towards you. I'm sure your Father is very proud of you to this day. JB
💕💕💕 thank you very much for saying that.
"fatherless behavior," they say, as they secretly hate their mothers and the women they project her onto. they can fuck right off.
you write beautifully and unabashedly. most wish they can speak their truths in this way, if they even took the time to know what they are.
Thank you very much for reading. They really can fuck right off!
i was reading this on a walk and ended up crying my eyes out. i lost a dear, dear friend to cancer five months ago and still sitting with the grief. then those tears became hot cuz these comments are enraging
i'm really glad i came across your work and i look forward to reading more! 💓
I’m very honored to have connected with you today. 💕🙏
I dont hate my mother and sure, its the fatherlessness aspect of this that seems to drive the woman through the slut road. Glad this one made it out, I truly am. And sure blame on the men who left if you want. Its still fatherless behavior.
I love reading your work. I am endlessly impressed by all your talents. I am a fellow Fatherless Woman. He’s still alive, I think. The shadow his absence cast over my life was more like a black hole. I spent years convincing myself that I was so much better off without. As he was, I was probably right. The few memories I have with him are not happy ones.
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing a bit of yourself here. <3
You are such a great writer! Thank you for the amazing gifts. 👏🤎👊
I really appreciate you reading. I just wrote this, moments ago. It’s gratifying to have you engage with it and read the words just now expressed by my heart. Thank you.
This is so gorgeous and powerful. 💖
Thank you very much. 💕
Beautifully written ❤️
One of the most well written and touching things I’ve read for a very long time.
Thank you so much. 🙏
“ I feel his body for lumps. He doesn’t know that I do that. “ Yeah. I do that too.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful writing and insights.
Thank you very much for reading. 🙏
You continue to inspire me love this great as always 💕